Chapter

35  

Purging Out

The Old Leaven—

A Personal Testimony

     I began my life in God when I was 24 years old.  I was hopelessly addicted to drugs at that time in 1971, a drug life that began in Vietnam in 1967.  It was a tremendous conversion; my craving for drugs and alcohol literally disappeared overnight.  My eight-year addiction to cigarettes vanished.  

     It was absolutely miraculous! The hand that used to steal, stole no more. The mouth that cursed every other breath, cursed no more.  The obvious trappings of my old lifestyle had totally evaporated.  And when I looked in the mirror, I knew that what was happening to me was a real experience.  God had really changed my life. 

     And so it was only natural that I would think that the ministry and the messenger from whom I had received this life changing light—it would seem that that ministry positively had the truth!  Period.  For look at me!  I’m changed and this ministry is responsible for bringing me here.

     The years rocked on—fourteen of them.  Children came—a  total  of  five.   But  as  the  years   passed, things grew strained with the leader and with the flock.   And  so,  things began to fall apart.  We were

all going through changes, and the sweet fellowship that we had once enjoyed fell by the way side.  The ministry that God had used to work such a miraculous deliverance in my life, was now ship- wrecking it. 

     The ugly, unwanted words “break-up” and “split” and “leaving” was upon many of us, and with it the heartbreak.  For I did not want that 14 year phase of my life to end.  But it did, prompting a wandering and a seeking for answers as to why it did not last.

     Over the course of several years I came up with these thoughts.  First, it was our fault—the ministry’s and mine—and not God’s.  That is to say, something was wrong fundamentally with the ministry tree.  For a good tree cannot bring forth bad fruit.  And we were bearing bad fruit—certainly not the peaceable fruit of righteousness.  All of us—leader on down—had not gotten it all right.  Something was missing.  Some doctrinal truth was not there in us.  God was right; we were off.  If we were in agreement with Him then everything would fall into place and the fruit of the Spirit would flow—the love, joy, peace, longsuffering.  But where did the fault lie within us?

     After several years I came to the conclusion that it had to be in the teachings—in our concepts of what His writings were teaching us.  His doctrine, like His wisdom, is pure and peaceable, without strife.  His teachings when followed, produce the fruit of the Spirit—love, joy, peace…

     We are to examine ourselves, whether we be in the faith.  I was tempted to stand pat doctrinally, to not reprove any of the teachings that had gotten me that far. After leaving the mission, I tenaciously clung to the old teachings, but I began to stagnate.

     I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that some of the major teachings were solid as a rock: the government of God coming to this earth, the manifestation of the sons of God in the latter days, the identity of the lost sheep of the house of Israel.  I began to re-examine everything else to see if it held up.  And I began to see that some of the teachings did not pan out.  This is an on-going process, of course.  This one thing I knew: the organization that I belonged to for so many years did not hold forth solid in the face of trials and tribulation.  “If it be a plan of men, it will come to naught.”  “If the fruit don’t bear it out then something is wrong with the tree.”  This took some courage to face this. 

     So I began to reprove all things, which is what scripture is for.  I began to open my heart to new truths that I did not receive from the mission.  I knew from the bad fruit that we did not have “all truth.”  And I knew that “the Spirit of truth would lead us into all truth.”  And since I knew that I did not through the mission have all truth, I would have to be open to the Spirit to receive more truths that I did not have in the beginning.  This is how I came to the knowledge of the sacred names, Yahweh and Yahshua—by being open to them. 

     And so it goes.  Those of us who have had similar experiences must stay open to truths new to us, for one reason: if we had all the truth before, then  why  did  not  our  walk  and  the  walk  of  the church body bring forth the good fruit of unity and harmony?  If we say that it is the other person’s fault who left, we imply rigidly that we have the truth and  that  person  should  have  stayed  in  line with what I have.  If any of us had all the truth that He has for us, we would be winning that brother or that

sister.  No, something is wrong somewhere.  We must stay open for more truth—truth that just may not be our old party line.  “If the root of the tree be holy, so are the branches.”